Back Home

I've been putting off this post mostly because lately, I've been too scatterbrained to hold a single thought in my head for more than a few seconds. Being back home hasn't been as much of a shock as I was expecting it to be, but now that I've been home for over a week, my new mindset is starting to become quite clear to me.

The past week has mostly been spent babysitting my brother's new Rottweiler puppy and my old dog, Soda. Since I can't really focus on reading or drawing like I normally would, it has been tough finding things to occupy my mind or even time. I think the hardest part has been the feeling that the past nine months were merely a dream. Since my current surroundings are so familiar to me, it feels like I never left.

When I drove my car for the first time it felt like I was 16 again, but within minutes driving felt normal. I learned to live without a lot of  the snacks I used to find essential to life, so I haven't been craving certain foods as much as I thought I would. The expectations I set for coming home were so grand and spectacular that when reality set in, I felt and still feel disappointed.

My sense of time is distorted because of the absolute shit weather, but it finally appears to be getting better. Between the cold and all the dead trees I keep feeling like it's November or December. Whenever I text my friends I still operate under the assumption they won't see it for another eight hours.

Playing the drums has probably been my most effective therapy for boredom and the feeling of being lost. Yesterday I learned how to play the beat to Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off." One thing I've noticed is how much friendlier people in Cambodia were. I would constantly smile at strangers and receive one in return, but here I don't dare. People look away as soon as eye contact is made.

My biggest hope is to keep my experience close with me as I continue my journey through life. I'd rather not get sucked back into the hyper-competitiveness and selfishness that I think American culture perpetuates. Don't get me wrong I will always love this country, but I no longer view it as perfect as I once did.

I'm already planning my next overseas journey and I hope to have countless more. When I'm old and decrepit, sipping lemonade in my rocker on the porch, I hope to inspire others to travel the world and open their minds.