The Whirlwind

Now that there are only a couple short months left to be spent in Cambodia, the whirlwind of emotions has officially risen over the horizon and is barreling straight for me. Re-acclimating to my life at home, leaving behind the many relationships I have forged, and trying to get past the electronic resume gatekeepers have all been keeping me awake at night as of late. As much as I tell myself to just enjoy the remaining two months I have, I can't help but search for jobs or worry about how that moment will feel walking into my house for the first time in nearly a year.

For most of my life, I have always known what's next to come. When I graduated high school, I knew college was the next step. When I graduated college, I knew I would be traveling to Cambodia. When I leave Cambodia however, I don't know what's next. It is as liberating as it is terrifying. The fact the next chapter has not been written gives me enormous freedom, but as anyone who has ever perused a large menu knows, too many options can be extremely overwhelming.

When people told me this experience would go by fast, I never envisioned it would feel this fast, but now I am beginning to feel as if I have been gone for years. My little brother just adopted a new puppy, and I'm missing out on all the interactions between him and our older dog (whom I miss terribly). By the time I get home he'll be three times bigger than he was in the first videos I saw of him. Major changes like this make me feel like I've been gone longer than I have, and I have to face the fact that life goes on with, or without you.